we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
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Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
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I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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