I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
