so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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