Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Oh god it's open bar.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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