i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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