I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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