I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize