3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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