I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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