So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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