My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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