saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
