No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
