after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
