i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
