Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
