Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
