An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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