I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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