Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
