we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.