My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..