just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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