its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?