i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
