Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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