I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
