she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
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Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
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No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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