I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Mom said you looked used
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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