Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
