Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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