I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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