Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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