i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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