Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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