there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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