Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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