And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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