am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
