somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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