I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
