Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
