I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
