I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
