do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Drake has all the answers
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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