are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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