The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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