I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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