KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
