apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
where are my eyebrows?
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