tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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