would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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