Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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