Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
