they said they heard you say put it in my butt
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
