I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
