I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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