my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
