yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
