Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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